Lose Your Virginity without Pain

Losing your virginity can seem terrifying with the endless first-time stories, a whole range of myths and inaccuracies about what will happen during your first time. This topic can cause a lot of concerns and scare women, causing anxiety with fear of any attempt at physical intimacy. Having a good understanding of your anatomy, knowledge of bodily functions, and simple self-practice before the “big event” is essential in order to lose your virginity as painlessly and pleasurably as possible.

One of the most common misconceptions of the hymen is that many believe it is a single piece of flesh that will break causing pain and bleeding during the first sexual intercourse. But the truth is the hymen is a membrane that covers a specific part of the vagina’s opening. The hymen does have a hole in it from where the menstrual blood flows through. Many adolescent girls’ hymen can break through participation in sports, masturbation, or using a tampon.

Even if the hymen is not broken, the hole will have stretched enough before the start of intimacy, resulting in only little to mild pain and bleeding when the male genitalia is inserted. There are still cases where women do bleed a lot during their first sexual intercourse, but this is also normal.

The main question is: why does it hurt? The truth is breaking the hymen has very little to do in terms of feeling pain during your first time. It is usually the inner muscles of your genitals that cause the actual discomfort and pain. The nervousness and misconception of first sexual initiation causes it. But don’t worry because there are a few ways to overcome this pain naturally and easily for a more enjoyable pleasure.

Part 1: Prepare

Step 1: Be comfortable with your own sexuality.

Many fear the unknown and get easily anxious as they don’t know what will happen. You may end up feeling tense and nervous which will cause a “wet blanket” on the experience. In addition to feeling anxiety, your vaginal muscles will clench and lead to more pain during the process. Instead of letting anxiety take over, try other ways to relax and become properly educated beforehand so you will feel confident and aware of what will happen. Here are a few strategies to try:


It is important to know what part exactly goes where, what’s normal, and what’s not. Knowing what to expect can help ease a ton of anxiety about having sex for the first time.

Know Your Body      

It is important to understand your own anatomy as it will help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is a virgin as well. Communication is a key as you can both figure out what each other likes and ensure that you both have a good experience. Masturbation can help ease tension, especially if you communicate while experimenting with your partner. Always try to pay attention to how you respond to different touches and sensations.

Have a Positive Attitude

Losing your virginity is a personal choice. If there’s any guilt and stress about the prospect, perhaps it’s better to wait until you’re sure you are ready. Once you have decided that this is what you want, take the next steps to enjoy the experience in a positive light. Focus on making this as an experience that will bring you closer to your partner and personal growth.

Step 2: Head to the Drugstore

Take a trip to the local drug store and buy a few items ahead of time. This will make preparation a little easier. Consider purchasing:


To prevent any unplanned pregnancy and help stop the spread of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs), always used a condom. Even if you’ve been on birth control and you trust your partner, using a condom will erase any doubts that might make you anxious in the moment. Don’t overwhelm yourself as to which condoms to buy – just search for the most basic version you can find.


This is probably the best thing you can buy to prevent any vaginal tearing and excess pain. If you’re using latex condoms, do not use any oil-based lubricant as they will easily tear the condom. Opt for a silicone or water based lubricant instead.

Step 3: Communicate with Your Partner

Make sure to discuss any concerns you or your partner might have. Having sex with someone you trust can help make your first time less nerve-wrecking. You and your partner should take each other’s feelings into consideration and focus on making sure you have a good experience. If you find your potential partner pressures you or doesn’t seem concerned about how sex will affect you, maybe it is best to reconsider.

Step 4: Know Your Hymen

The hymen is a thin membrane that covers a small part of the vaginal opening. The lining starts to wear away when a girl does a variety of activities such as vigorous sports, using tampons, menstruation, or normal movement. Chances are, only part of your hymen is left – which is completely normal especially if you’ve already started having periods. If you do bleed during your first time, it shouldn’t be very much as any bleeding you experience after losing your virginity should not be the depth level as having your menstruation. There should only be a light spotting for a few hours.

In many cases, some girls won’t bleed at all. Breaking your hymen shouldn’t be extremely painful. If you do experience pain, it is probably due to the anxiety and unusual feel of penetration. The good news is, although you can’t exactly control your hymen tearing, taking steps of relaxation will control how you can handle the slight pain.

Step 5: Find Comfort in Angles

Help your partner ease into you at the correct angle. This will avoid any potential pain as most girls aren’t straight up and down. Angle your body back toward the spine or forward towards the belly button – as both directions are normal during sex.

If you use tampons regularly, you’re already one step ahead. Notice how you approach using a tampon and create that same angle when you start to have penetrative sex.

If you don’t use tampons or haven’t engaged in any vaginal penetration, its best to figure it out before you have sex. Try using tampons on your next period or self-masturbation. Aim towards your lower back; if that doesn’t feel comfortable you can try shifting forward until you find a comfortable position for insertion.

Part 2: While Having Sex

Step 1: Choose a Stress-free Location

If you feel worried about getting caught or with too m any distractions, you won’t enjoy your experience. Make it easier on yourself by choosing the right place with your partner where you can be sure you won’t be disturbed. Look for a private, comfortable area and the right time when you aren’t worried about being on a schedule.

Step 2: Create a Relaxing Mood

Set the mood right by getting rid of any distracting clutter and remove anything else that might make you feel nervous or distracted from your partner. Remember to shut off your phone and dim the lights with soft music and comfortable room temperature. Consider spending time grooming yourself beforehand so that you may feel relaxed. Opt for a quick shower, style your hair, or anything else to make you feel pretty and confident.

Step 3: Take Your Time

Consider having sex as a marathon rather than a sprint. Focus on enjoying this moment with your partner without rushing. Take the time to figure out what you and your partner both enjoy. Initiate kissing and move forward to making out. Go at a pace that feels most comfortable to both of you.


Try adding plenty of foreplay. This will make you both become more aroused and your natural lubrication will increase – thus making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly.

Step 4: Communicate

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need or want in the moment. Your parent should be more than happy to please you. Suggest all the things you need as in slowing down, moving gently or using more lubrication will help ease the pain of your first time.

Step 5: Aftercare

If you do struggle with after pain or experience bleeding, it is best to deal with it before it becomes too aggravating to handle. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever such as ibuprofen, clean up any blood and use a light pad for the next few hours.

Remember: Don’t give in to pressure from your partner. Losing your virginity is your decision, not anyone else’s. Always be protected to prevent any life-changing circumstances such as unplanned pregnancy or contracting any sexually transmitted infections. It is possibly to get pregnant the first time you have sex.